Browser, I don't need no stinkeen' browser. I'm no expert on
firewalls but it seems our Information Technology office is
having problems with our firewall this morning. Anything
through port 80 is being blocked but everything else is
flowing. So I can do email, telnet, and ftp but no web
access.
So, I can telnet to my account at pair.com and use Lynx to
surf the net. Having done that, there isn't a whole lot
interesting going on right now so I'll leave you with this that
I found under a mossy rock:
A Tale of the Shire
Long ago, in the days when all disks flopped in the breeze
and the writing of words was on a star, the Blue Giant dug for
the people the Pea Sea. But he needed a creature who could sail
the waters, and would need for support but few rams.
So the Gateskeeper, who was said to be both micro and soft,
fashioned a Dosfish, who was small and spry, and could swim the
narrow sixteen-bit channel. But the Dosfish was not bright, and
could be taught few new tricks. His alphabet had no A's, B's,
or Q's, but a mere 640 K's, and the size of his file cabinet
was limited by his own fat.
At first the people loved the Dosfish, for he was the only
one who could swim the Pea Sea. But the people soon grew tired
of commanding his line, and complained that he could be neither
dragged nor dropped. "Forsooth," they cried. "the Dosfish can
only do one job at a time, and of names, he knows only eight
and three." And many of them left the Pea Sea for good, and
went off in search of the Magic Apple.
Although many went, far more stayed, because admittance to
the Pea Sea was cheap. So the Gateskeeper studied the Magic
Apple, and rested awhile in the Parc of Xer-Ox, and he made a
Window that could ride on the Dosfish and do its thinking for
it. But the Window was slow, and it would break when the
Dosfish got confused. So most people contented themselves with
the Dosfish.
Now it came to pass that the Blue Giant came upon the
Gateskeeper, and spoke thus: "Come, let us make of ourselves
something greater than the Dosfish." The Blue Giant seemed like
a humbug, so they called the new creature OZ II.
Now Oz II was smarter than the Dosfish, as most things are.
It could drag and drop, and could keep files without becoming
fat. But the people cared for it not. So the Blue Giant and the
Gateskeeper promised another OZ II, to be called Oz II Too,
that could swim the fast new 32-bit wide Pea Sea.
Then lo, a strange miracle occurred. Although the Window
that rode on the Dosfish was slow, it was pretty, and the third
Window was the prettiest of all. And the people began to like
the third Window, and to use it. So the Gateskeeper turned to
the Blue Giant and said, "Fie on thee, for I need thee not.
Keep thy OZ II Too, and I shall make of my Window an Entity
that will not need the Dosfish, and will swim in the 32-bit Pea
Sea."
Years passed, and the workshops of the Gateskeeper and the
Blue Giant were overrun by insects. And the people went on
using their Dosfish with a Window; even though the Dosfish
would from time to time become confused and die, it could
always be revived with three fingers.
Then there came a day when the Blue Giant let forth his OZ
II Too onto the world. The Oz II Too was indeed mighty, and
awesome, and required a great ram, and the world was changed
not a whit. For the people said, "It is indeed great, but we
see little application for it." And they were doubtful, because
the Blue Giant had met with the Magic Apple, and together they
were fashioning a Taligent, and the Taligent was made of
objects, and was most pink.
Now the Gateskeeper had grown ambitious, and as he had been
ambitious before he grew, he was now more ambitious still. So
he protected his Window Entity with great security, and made
its net work both in serving and with peers. And the Entity
would swim, not only in the Pea Sea, but in the Oceans of Great
Risk. "Yea," the Gateskeeper declared, "though my entity will
require a greater ram than Oz II Too, it will be more powerful
than a world of Eunuchs."
And so the Gateskeeper prepared to unleash his Entity to the
world, in all but two cities. For he promised that a greater
Window, a greater Entity, and even a greater Dosfish would
appear one day in Chicago and Cairo, and it too would be built
of objects.
Now the Eunuchs who lived in the Oceans of Great Risk, and
who scorned the Pea Sea, began to look upon their world with
fear. For the Pea Sea had grown, and great ships were sailing
in it, the Entity was about to invade their oceans, and it was
rumored that files would be named in letters greater than
eight. And the Eunuchs looked upon the Pea Sea, and many of
them thought to immigrate.
Within the Oceans of Great Risk were many Sun Worshippers,
and they wanted to excel, and make their words perfect, and do
their jobs as easy as one-two-three. And what's more, many of
them no longer wanted to pay for the Risk. So the Sun Lord went
to the Pea Sea, and got himself eighty-sixed.
And taking the next step was He of the NextStep, who had
given up building his boxes of black. And he proclaimed loudly
that he could help anyone make wondrous soft wares, then
admitted meekly that only those who know him could use those
wares, and he was made of objects, and required the biggest ram
of all.
And the people looked out upon the Pea Sea, and they were
sore amazed. And sore confused. And sore sore. And that is why,
to this day, Ozes, Entities, and Eunuchs battle on the shores
of the Pea Sea.
Aloha!
Tired of UberGeeks
kicking sand in your face when they whip out their twin
